To all the wonderful newlyweds and brides-to-be blog readers out there, I am giving out unsolicited advice again. One of the keys to a happy marriage is to add a “Man Room” to your house.
Trust me, whether you believe it or not traditional man treasures, such as a Velvet Elvis, a classy beer bottle collection, a genuine light-up beer sign, or something equally as tacky will eventually make its way into your home with the following lines, “my best friend gave it to me”, or “I always wanted this when I was a kid”, or my personal favorite, "I just found it laying in the road".
At some point your husband will try to hang this tacky stuff on your walls! I have even caught my husband going through the neighbor’s trash when the neighbor’s wife threw out some of her husband’s coveted Man Treasures (nothing is more embarrassing then to watch out the window horrified that your husband is going through someone’s trash in broad daylight……he could at least wait until it gets dark!).
The best advice I can give is to set aside a room or the basement for a “Man Room” (preferably a room that cannot be viewed or smelled from the rest of the house).
1. Your husband can decorate the Man Room ANYWAY he likes.
2. He agrees not to hang Man Treasures throughout the house
3. You get to decorate the rest of the house ANYWAY you like.
4. The Big screen TV (that is large enough to be used in a regular movie theater) has to fit in the Man Room along with the 50 surround sound speakers he has collected.
5. The Lazy Boy chair that clashes with all of your furniture must also fit in the Man Room.
6. He must keep a can of Raid and a bottle of Febreeze within arm’s reach of his reclining Man Chair.
7. What goes on in the Man Room stays in the Man Room!
8. If you do get rid of any Man Treasures PLEASE do not send them to my husband because he will glady accept ALL donations.
I created a special Man Room for my husband the day I came home to find his motorcycle parked in our dining room. His excuse: “It is way too cold outside for the motorcycle and the garage is full”. In case you were wondering, my husband could charm Medusa (which is who I probably resembled at the time) so of course he talked me into keeping the motorcyle in the house for three months. I can't remember, but I am sure I got a new sewing machine or something out of that deal.
What's the worst thing your significant other has drug home? If you say "nothing" it probably means you just haven't found it yet.
Disclaimer: I am not a therapist or a counselor, but I have been happily married to a "Five-year-old" for 18 years.